Jokes I Wrote That Nobody Wanted From Dec. 15 - Dec. 17, 2010
I submit topical jokes as a freelance writer. Here’s ones nobody wanted to buy…I post them here and make fun of some of them, too. What’s great/awful about the internet is that is has no standards…see for yourself…
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Google is releasing a new laptop that won’t contain a caps-lock key on the keyboard. The laptop’s target demographic is people who never get angry or excited. [look at this here – you made fun of people who type in CAPITAL LETTERS!!]
Larry King tapes his final episodes of Larry King Live this week. Whoever replaces him will have some big glasses to fill. [hey, at least I didn’t make a joke about how he’s old]
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger declared December 16, 2010, “Larry King Day.” People celebrated by having no idea that it was Larry King Day. [2 for 1 Larry King zingers.]
Pamela Anderson appears in a nude pictorial in this month’s issue of Playboy…I wonder how they got her to agree to that?
Former supermodel Jerry Hall said she was inspired to become a model after trying LSD. Funny, that’s the same reason my college roommate gave as his inspiration to look into a mirror and turn into a wolfman. [I stand by this one.]
A new study stated said that Fox News viewers are the most misinformed of all news viewers. When asked about news of the study, Fox viewers were like “never heard of it.” [Kinda okay…]
A car ad featuring a lesbian bedroom seen has been pulled from Italian airwaves. A spokesman for the Italian government said that the ad will be off the air until he has a chance to review it privately. [not bad all in all…]
Stinkers:
Momentum is building for the Senate to repeal “don’t ask, don’t tell,” though Harry Reid hasn’t said whether or not the Senate will get to it before the end of the year — yeah, he’s being real “hush, hush” about it. [This just isn’t very good…and it’s dated]
A major skeptic of global warming Republican Congressman Jim Sensenbrenner has been put in charge of House investigations into global warming for the next Congress. In other words, the House will not be investigating global warming…
[second option for punchline]…or…
… when reached for comment, the Earth was like, “Gimme a break!”
[2 bites at this apple, and it still stinks…I pray you did not read this one.]
