Jokes I Wrote That Nobody Wanted From Jan. 25 - Jan. 28, 2011
I submit topical jokes as a freelance writer. Here’s ones nobody wanted to buy…I post them here and make fun of some of them, too. What’s great/awful about the internet is that is has no standards…see for yourself…
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Illinois’ highest court has affirmed the right of former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel to appear on the ballot in Chicago’s mayoral race set for next month. The Court’s decision was 7 to 0, or, as Rahm Emanuel put it to his competitors: “F to U.” [I like this one, for reals!]
Mitt Romney will tape a “Top 10” segment for The Late Show with David Letterman next Tuesday. It’ll be the first time since Al Gore appeared on the show that Letterman has had on a robot. [About time someone pointed out the stiffness of politicians]
Michelle Money a contestant on this season of ABC’s The Bachelor has admitted to having an affair with married NBA player Carlos Boozer. When asked for comment, a spokesman for the NBA said, “Really? That show is still on?” [But seriously folks…that show is still on?]
In reaction to demonstrators in Cairo demanding that he step down, Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak announced that a new government is on the way, but that he will not step down. In other words, the protests are expected to continue. [Thumbs down!]
Representative Dennis Kucinich has settled a lawsuit filed against a Capitol Hill cafeteria over a split tooth he suffered when he bit into an olive pit in a sandwich. And, in the spirit of cooperation sweeping Congress, Kucinich said he’s agreed to sit next to the olive pit at next year’s State of the Union. [Not bad]
Jay Carney, Vice President Joe Biden’s top spokesman, is taking over the post of White House Press Secretary. His first act as Press Secretary will be to blow off Biden’s emails. [Biden is boring and unpowerful as VP – never really understood that theme of VEEPS being losers – they seem pretty successful to me.]
Keith Olbermann has started a new Twitter feed following the recent end of his MSCNBC show Countdown. Olbermann also plans to launch a “Team Olbo” website and go on a live tour. [A joke homage to one of my heroes, Coco.]
It’s being speculated that President Obama’s Ambassador to China John Huntsman will seek the Republican nomination for President. If Huntsman chooses to run, the last sentence will appear in every attack ad against him. [Not bad]
