Jokes I Wrote That Nobody Wanted April 3, 2011 Edition
I submit topical jokes as a freelance writer. Here’s ones nobody wanted to buy…I post them here and make fun of some of them, too. What’s great/awful about the internet is that is has no standards…see for yourself…
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On Monday night, President Obama gave a primetime televised address explaining his actions in Libya. No word yet on when he’ll give an address to explain his explanation of his actions in Libya. [Not bad I guess]
Donald Trump is getting a regular segment on the Fox News morning show “Fox & Friends.” With this announcement, it’s obvious that Fox News has taken seriously the criticism that it’s not a serious news channel. [I like this one…for real!]
AMC announced Thursday that the show “Mad Men” will remain on the air for at least three more years. In other words, the show’s props department needs to order a lot more scotch and cigarettes. [Yes, yes, they smoke and drink a lot on that show…you’re only the 1,287,987th person to point this out, Desai]
This week President Obama released an energy plan with a goal to reduce America’s consumption of foreign oil by one-third. The plan involves persuading Americans to buy smaller cars and not achieving its goal. [Not bad I guess]
Los Angeles Mayor Anthony Villaraigosa may be fined for failing to disclose free tickets to sports and entertainment events. Even more disturbing is the revelation that the attended Hoobastank Live at the Hollywood Bowl. [Hoobastank…you are not a good band – take that! And, I hope I didn’t offend any stank-heads out there.]
Fast food pizza chain Sbarro’s may file for bankruptcy next week. The company hasn’t made a final decision yet, but it’s keeping its Chapter 11 filing papers under a heat lamp for now. [This one is…Sbad!]
Facebook is trying to convince President Obama’s former Press Secretary Robert Gibbs to join their communication team. After hearing that Gibbs is considering it, Facebook asked him to move his decision from the “maybe” section. [Oh, a Facebook joke – thank you so much, Desai! I’ve never heard of anyone making fun of Faebook before…and you incorporated Facebook jargon into the punchline — too good, bro! This “pokes” my funnybone. Ha, ha!
A group of American investors will purchase the Italian soccer team Roma. Or, as the rest of Americans call the team: “who?”
John Travolta is set to play legendary Mafia figure John Gotti in a movie. It’s called “Look Who’s Whacking.” [This one is also…Sbad!]
